1 post tagged “working out”

I have decided that this is going to be the year I get off my fat duff and lose some weight.  No, this is not a New Year's "resolution". 

I am just tired of being fat. 

I am tired of my blood pressure being too elevated.

I am tired of clothes not fitting right. 

I am tired of looking like a piggy pig face in photographs that are not carefully "choreographed" in the MySpace styling.

I don't want to be a skinny twig. I just want to get down to a healthy weight and feel good about myself. 

I don't buy into that BMI bullshit that is all based on height to weight ratios.  They are nothing more than a "tool" to make people feel bad worse than they already do about their weight, about being too heavy or not being in the right zone. 

According to these "all mighty" BMI charts I clock in as morbidly obese.  That's right folks you heard that right: MORBIDLY OBESE!!!

I am sorry.  Morbidly obese my jiggly ass!

I wear a size 16 jeans.  Not a vanity sized size 16 from Lane Bryant.  Size 16 from DKNY or Anne Klein.  There is no W next to the size number either. (This is not to put down ladies who do wear W sizes or buy clothes from Lane Bryant as I do have shirts and sweaters from LB and the "Women's" departments).  I can go out and push out 15 + miles on my mountain bike in short time span and not be completely wiped out. I can still get to the trans-fatty Oreo cookies in the grocery store under my own power. I don't need the Rascal scooter to go and fetch them.

I am not morbidly obese you fu@%ing bastards. I am overweight. I am out of shape.

OK.... I digress.

A good friend of mine asked me to be a bridesmaid in wedding in mid October.  I have managed to make it this far in life while avoiding the dreaded bridesmaid role.  However, for her, I'll wear a ridiculous taffeta gown in bubblegum pink if I have to (I know it's not going to be pink... but a lovely shade of wine or plum the last I heard).  This has only motivated me to get on with it and lose the weight.  Who wants to be the fatty bridesmaid?  Not me.

I had been looking at treadmills for sometime now; comparing prices, features and whatnot; and finally went out and bought one last night.  Dear Eric drove to the other side of town, literally, so we could get this treadmill.  There was only one Sears store in town that had it in stock and it was on SALE (even better).  We brought it home and after some clever maneuvering, we got it up to the second floor of the house and assembled it.  So now I have forked over my "economic stimulus" money (that the government doled out to taxpayers last year) to stimulate the economy buy the treadmill so I can exercise whenever I want and not have to be outside or go to a sweaty meat market gym with those bitches skinny girls hogging all the treadmills.

So tonight after work I began my mission to lose the weight and get in shape.  I started simple, did a 30 minute "weight loss" pre-program.  I did pretty well and I feel pretty good.

1.5 miles in 30 minutes with a max incline of 5% and a top speed of 3.5 m.p.h.

I don't know what my actual weight is.  I do not own a scale.  I guess I should go buy one.